This was posted 12-7-2023

“Initiating a Soul Movement” project

Every day is a new day to start again.

Get up. Drink water. Etcetera, etc.

First, the awareness of the action, reaction, habit, pattern, thought, feeling, frustration, obligation, commitment, goal, emotion, attachment, belief, desire.

Then processing, the observation.

What to do?

Ignore? Obey?

Act. React. Keep busy. Take a deep breath, distract, delay, do something, drink something, cacao, eat something, else, stretch, meditate. (Sigh).

Now what?

Take another DEEP breath, delay, distract, drink something…. again.

It’s ok for now but it keeps coming back, that itch, irritation, agitation, ache, anger, anguish, anxiety, gnawing, longing. Okay. So back to the deep breathing, delay…just over and over and again and again, until there’s a reason, an excuse, it’s okay. I’m allowed, I can. I waited. I want. To feel better. Its all-consuming, right now, I succumb. I surrender, I love, and I hate.

It starts, with just one. Ah relief. What joy! Or maybe misery. How naughty. And good. But is it?

That bad. The constant, battle in body and mind. Until one day, it’s over. Got through it. Substituting, replacing, delaying, distracting, deep breathing, one day at a time. Then it’s forgotten except for those moments, when the triggers, associations, people, places, habits, desires come back and are all around – in my face again.

Then what?

.

Aaargh!

.

addiction, then you choose to listen and learn.

For me, it has always been the nicotine. I started this from an early age, and it has always been an on/off battle. I give up, for various reasons (health, children, had enough), but it always seems to creep back in, like an old, toxic best friend, relationship, that on some level I must still enjoy otherwise, why would I?

hurry, hurry or slow down.

.

What to do? Remove myself. Remove the triggers. Remove the associations. Remove, remove.

Then replace with… healthy habits, exercise, chocolate, food, stuff.

Nargiza – (Australia)

Celest and David – Nargiza, welcome to VOICES. Your VOICE shall be heard.